A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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