Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
