what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
