i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
