Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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