I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
