I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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