when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
