I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
