I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
