he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
