I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
