so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
