Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize