Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize