i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize