2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
