Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
