Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
