Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
