East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Farmville is her only friend.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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