so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
