is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He better not be in your backpack
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
