physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
