Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
