wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
