shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
