Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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