Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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