Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
