Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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