Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
