I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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