Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize