I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Buhtt sex?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
