i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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