what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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