Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Walk of Shame today included voting.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize