I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
