i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
