mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
