bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize