Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
