and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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