Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
