LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
