Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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