could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
