I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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