We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
