he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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