So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
