forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
