Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
