i think i have herpe
just one?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
