Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
