i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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