3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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