I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
