Need sex. Gaining weight.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
