it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
