some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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