I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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